With these fetish couples, love gets under the skin. Since they no longer satisfy the wounds of other BDSM practices, more and more fetish lovers are turning to the tattoo machine.
Anyone who is into any form of fetish sex will at some point get "battle scars". For example, if bondage is your thing, these are the marks on your wrists. Leather whips and paddles will cause bruises and if you're into more extreme BDSM, you'll probably have things like branding, scars, and other body modifications on your list. The majority of these bruises disappear after a certain amount of time, but a few people also want a permanent reminder of their sex life. And exactly these people have now turned to the world of tattoos.
"I get really turned on when I get a tattoo on my kitten," says Allan Crowder, a 33-year-old from the US state of Georgia, who has already given his 24-year-old wife Virginia several tattoos in their shared bedroom. For the two of them, the whole thing is something of a foreplay ritual. "She is helpless and at the same time so strong. When she breathes heavily and moans in pain and lust, I really get going." Virginia says the tattoos have intensified her relationship with Allan. "I find the whole thing strengthens my confidence in him. In the end, our shared joy and love fills me to the tips of my hair," she explains.
Anyone with ink under their skin can certainly testify to the sensuality of tattooing
When a needle penetrates you, this experience is linked to endorphins and the pain or fear factor can have something exciting or even erotic about it. In a relationship with dominance-submissiveness dynamics, however, this arousal goes beyond physical sensation.
"You're into the whole interaction," says Dulcinea Pitagora, a New York-based fetish therapist. "And they like the intimacy of the experience. Another aspect could be the durability of a tattoo. If you make something that permanent, it naturally bonds you more strongly." According to Pitagora, tattoos are the most common way for dominant relationship partners to mark their subs nowadays. In second place are the so-called scarifications.
"When my daddy tattoos me, I'm in seventh heaven," says Candie, a 38-year-old woman from New Jersey who identifies herself both as a dominatrix and a sub. Five years ago, the man she has been dating for a long time decorated her thighs with cherries and a banner with the words "Daddy's Girl" on it. Since then, "Daddy" has also given her more tattoos - for example, the word "Slut" above her crotch.
"The person who tattoos hopefully also likes needle or tattoo games and the feeling of penetrating the skin of the partner with a needle.
Tattoos as a symbol of possession
This kind of relationship dynamic may not be very common, but it does happen more often than you might think. In dome-sub-relationships the submissive partner is sometimes "owned" by his or her counterpart. A tattoo or a non-permanent sign such as a collar can symbolize this agreed upon possession. "The desire to act as a canvas for my mistress has developed after a long and emotional journey of self-discovery," 24-year-old student Cynthia wrote to me in an e-mail. For her, the desire to get a tattoo is closely linked to the desire to be the property of the relationship partner. Currently she is looking for a mistress for whom she can be used as a canvas.
But tattooing a human canvas is not a one-sided pleasure
"The person who tattoos is hopefully also interested in needle or tattoo games and the feeling of penetrating the skin of the partner with a needle. You can really feel it," Pitagora explains. "And there's probably blood involved. Some people are into that sort of thing.
Unfortunately, many people with this kind of tattoo fetish neither have high-quality tattoo machines nor the ability to really cleanly prick. So they often switch to cheaper equipment or go for the stick-and-poke option. The 22-year-old Wolf from Detroit got a tattoo machine for Christmas and is currently teaching herself how to use it properly. "A friend showed me how to turn the machine on," she says, "I still practice a lot on fruit, but I've already stuck three real tattoos. A young woman from California even wants to come to me and give me her whole body."
Such a kind of tattoo devotion and submission is of course not for everyone
But since tattoos are becoming more and more normal in society along with other forms of body modification, it's not too far off that this fetish will also become nothing special at some point. The change of your own appearance in the course of a sexual relationship is nothing new anymore.
"If you get a physical change from your partner, such as breast augmentation, then you also make the decision to modify your body for sexual or romantic reasons," says Pitagora. "Although fetishes are always a bit more intentional and ritualistic, the fetish world is basically not that different from the real world. But what happens when such a tattoo- fetish relationship breaks down?
"Tattoos that a gentleman stabs me would be pretty much the same in case of a breakup," says Chloe, a 41-year-old sub-partner. "I would then simply consider the tattoo a nice memory or have it removed."
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